Archbishop of Catterbury

So little Kittenpants started a blog, eh?  And even got Midnight to post on it?  Well, I’d better show those whippersnappers that I’m not totally behind the times.  I mean, I may be thirteen, but I’m in better shape than either of those other cats.  Thursday night, I’d had enough of the other two.  I’d been stuck in the house for an entire day with that new little interloper, Esther.  The humans obviously think she’s harmless, but I know kittens.  I haven’t stopped letting her know who the real boss of the house is, but she’s been mostly interested in chasing some little feather around.  Since I’ve been trying to teach Esther who the boss is, I figured I might as well remind that fat Midnight, too.  Of course, Midnight doesn’t seem to appreciate this lesson.  She probably figures that since she lived with our Human longer, she deserves to be the boss.  Whippersnapper.  Harrumph.

So on Thursday night, I decided to go outside, right when the humans were going to bed.  I had my night all planned out – some time checking out the little hoppy guy that our Human calls “Mr. Bun-Buns” (she is so undignified!), and then climbing through the gap in the fence into the wild rose bush, back into the shrubs in the back yard where the cardinals and the finches and the mourning doves have their nests, for a snuggle into the warm, dry leaves beneath.  When I would wake up, I’d find some squirrels to chase, and then walk along the fences until I found something interesting to check out.  When I got hungry, I’d head back for the shrubs in the back yard, to wait for the humans to call me.

I had a great time – pouncing on leaves, sniffing after rabbits, chasing squirrels, exploring all the neighbor-humans’ yards.  When the sun started to come up in the morning, I found a warm shrub to snuggle up underneath, for a good nap.  A few times during the day, I would roll over, yawn, stretch, and consider getting up… but then I’d settle back into the leaves and fall back to sleep.  The sun came through the leaves and the branches just enough to keep me warm and drowsy and happy.  There are good nap spots inside my house, but nothing compares to a nap under a shrub on a warm summer day.  Mmmmm.

In the afternoon, I heard the humans calling me a few times, but I didn’t feel like going back just yet.  I chased squirrels for a while, pounced on bugs and leaves… but then I got a little bored.  I missed the girl and the boy, and I was getting ready for some dinner.  When I come back home after being outside, the humans always make a big fuss over me.  They give me hugs, and they make sure there’s lots of fresh water, and best of all, they fill my dish with wonderful food.  It is the greatest feeling ever, how much they love me.  When The Human picked me up, she scolded me a little, something about missing your doctor appointment, but I didn’t care.

Today, I think I’ll mostly stay inside.  I may go out for a little while, especially if that little scrap Esther bugs me.  Or I may just nap in front of the window and enjoy the warm sunshine on my soft blanket.  Mmmm – doesn’t that sound wonderful?  I miss my old Human sometimes, but the new humans are nice to me.  I just wish they would get rid of Midnight and that little thing Esther… but maybe I can teach her right.  Yeah, I’ll teacher her how to be a cat, and not just a patsy for those silly humans.